Let's just say it hit a nerve and move on from there.
I was thinking about the old me. I was fat, lazy, unmotivated, unsuccessful, uninspired, unattractive and unfunny.
Do you know what has changed? I am still within the 'obese' category on that Godforsaken BMI Chart. To what will surely be the shock and dismay of any member of my team who may be reading this (sorry coach) I really would rather nap than exercise. I have the same job, the same skin, the same hair (basically) and the same sense of humor. But I am now surrounded by a different group of people. And these people think I am amazing...and therefore, I am.
If someone would have told me that the biggest change I needed to make was in the company I kept, I would have said that I didn't deserve to be in company better than I was. And, truly, there was nothing WRONG with, well, MOST of the company I was keeping....select few liked to tell me how worthless I was, and by believing it, I became it, and that's probably what I projected even to those who didn't build their own self esteem on the broken pieces of mine.
I thank God on a daily basis that the negative influences are out of my life. I'd love to say that I woke up one morning and said 'ENOUGH!' and caused this change myself, but I didn't. It just sort of happened, but I can and do own the fact that I have embraced and continued the momentum. Now that I know this self-fulfilling circle of "you think I suck I think I suck you think I'm great I think I'm great", you can bet your bippy that I am surrounding myself with people who see the good in me rather than only the bad.
I'm not saying that we have to entirely base our self-worth on other people's opinions of ourselves, but trying to develop it in the presence of negative people is about like trying to build a skyscraper, on a foundation of toothpicks, in the middle of a hurricane. It's freaking hard.
If you're reading this, I probably know you personally. And according to me, you are awesome. Don't argue with me, you will not win. So if you have someone in your life who makes you feel like you are less than amazing, it is up to you to make that stop. I can't tell you how to do that (alas my wisdom does have it's limits) but I CAN tell you that if you think you don't deserve any better, you are wrong.
Think Imma go paint my fingernails purple. Tootles.
Today's lunch...this awesome veggie bake. It's a very complicated recipe. Go to your refrigerator, empty out your veggie drawer, throw away the fuzzy stuff, cut up anything that's left, put it in a casserole dish, drizzle with olive oil. Bake at 350 for an hour. Add a crapton of mozzarella cheese. Bake again until melted. Enjoy with wanton abandon.