Saturday, February 11, 2012

A Lumberjack in Drag

Today I worked a snowblower for the first time.  The cold and the wind biting at my face, the smell of exhaust sticking to my hair and clothes.  I am not a fan.  But it needed to be done and The Boy was at a friend's for the night (probably the weekend if he gets his way) and being that I don't have the luxury of a four wheel drive vehicle that I had when last I was single, it needed to be done.  And it was not lost on me that I could have been shoveling.  Trust me, I was holding my breath and praying that the snowblower would start all the while cursing the fact that I need to use it.

My life now is very...utilitarian I suppose.  During the week I get into a grinding routine of work (a lot), cook (as little as possible), exercise (more than most, less than I should), shower (shaving is optional), sleep (fitfully), repeat.  On the weekend it's laundry and groceries and cleaning and maybe a rented DVD.  Sometimes it's plowing snow, sometimes it's mowing grass, sometimes it's weeding, sometimes it's painting.  So it's not all that surprising that when I put on makeup and 'girl clothes', when I flat-iron my all feels like a costume.  I feel like I'm covering up who I really am.  Honestly I feel like a lumberjack in drag. 

But the lumberjack isn't who I WANT to be.  I WANT TO BE the pretty girl with the long eyelashes and silky hair and nice clothes and cute shoes (GOD I miss cute shoes).  I am not a lumberjack by choice, but by necessity.

I need to make an effort to treat myself like a girl more often.  I need to make time after I'm done pulling weeds or unstopping toilets to soak in the tub and shave my legs even if nobody is going to see them.  If I get a little extra money, rather than using it to buy mulch or paint, once in a while I need to go get a pedicure and get my toes painted a pretty pink.  If I do this more often, will I feel like a ballerina who just happens to have to weatherproof the deck, or will I still feel like I belong more in steel toes than pumps?   I dont' know, but it's worth a shot.

So as I sit here watching it snow, frigging horizontally for crap sake, knowing full well that I will have to go back out there before the day is over and try to undo what old man winter hath done, later I will take a nice long bath, shave my legs even though I know nobody will see them, put on some nice smelling lotion and make dinner for a man who I am very cautiously getting to know.  Yes, my friends, I had a date last week that I didn't write about.  I didn't write about it because it wasn't a disaster.  See how that works?  And hopefully I won't write about this one either.

Today's lunch:  McDonald's Sugar Free Vanilla Iced Coffee...I had a big any self respecting lumberjack would.


  1. Consider the snow blowing a good workout and thank goodness you are fit to do it! :)


  2. AS WELL... (i was able to post the first time, but not this time from my WordPress acct.) Now, posting as Annyn.

    I'm right there with you on the leg shaving, and trying to be more girly. I had a pedicure (a gift) 2-weeks ago and horrified to see that I had these, albeit blond, long and bent hairs sticking out of my legs. The Vietnamese women who do nails and toes speak their own jarble so who knows, all that jarbling right in front of me, was about me, and my hairy legs!

    Still, I was embarrassed and vowed to shave them that evening. As it turned out, all of the plastic razors had rusted.

    From Lisa!