A Six Year Old Pretending to Rob a Bank

Today I went grocery shopping.  Like legit, in the store, grocery shopping.  This isn't something I do under even normal circumstances.  I got way too spoiled by the convenience of Walmart grocery pickup back when I had shoulder surgery and if I was tempted to go back, a broken bone in my foot would have put that idea to an end real quick.

But times, they are a-changin'.  And even though the powers that be recommend shopping online and arranging curbside puck for whatever you can, the stores themselves are not cooperating.  Walmart, specifically, is limiting pick-up orders to a fraction of the norm.  The two times in the last month that I've been lucky enough to get a slot, the pickup lot, normally full of 15-20 cars at a time, held only two.  And instead of having 3 or 4 people filling orders, there was only one.  I'm not sure of the logic behind this.  I thought it was to keep workers a safe distance from each other, but my trip into the store today made it clear that employee distancing is not a priority, at least at Walmart.  People are in there stocking shelves practically on top of each other. Without masks.

So yeah, spots are hard to come by.  But not impossible.  If you're persistent, willing to check and refresh often, and willing to take any spot any time, you can get the job done.

But what I noticed was that in spite of certain items being consistently unavailable on the app and website, people were posting on Facebook that they were finding the same items in the store.  So today I went shopping.  And I found MANY items that have been "sold out" online for a month, in full stock in store.  There was no shortage of toilet paper, laundry sanitizer, butter, cold medicine or Tylenol.  Even silly things like the specific flavor of iced coffee I prefer, out of stock for a month online, is fully stocked in the store.  Why?  Surely it's not that Walmart wants to get people into the store at any cost.  Because if I come in for laundry sanitizer I'm going to impulse-buy something else, but if I shop online I'm only going to get what I need.  This can't just be "smart marketing" at the expense of public safety.  Can it?  Surely not.  Because that would just be wrong, and make me want to shove my now-throbbing foot up some CEO's ass. 

But...I'm not here to just rant about evil big business.  As angry as my shopping trip made me, it also made me grateful.

Because y'all, if you haven't figured it out yet, wearing a mask sucks ass!  Seriously.

First of all, I look like a six year old pretending to rob a bank.

This was my first real shopping in a mask experience.  I wore it for all of about an hour and was MISERABLE.  I can't imagine wearing one all day.  Or, for those who are lucky enough to have an N95 mask which literally can leave bruises on your face, how they deal with that for a 12+ hour shift is beyond me.  Not that I was ever lacking respect for medical professionals but that respect is now multiplied by a thousand.  Because I couldn't do it.

So THANK YOU to everyone on the front lines of this situation, helping the sick and keeping the most vulnerable healthy.  I can't tell you how humbled I am after experiencing just the tiniest fraction of what you deal with all day every day.  I'm in awe.

#healthcareheroes #walmart #covid19 #maskssavelives #inthistogetherohio