I'm not sure how much of the Blog Over Lunch will actually be written over lunch any more. Today I had to make phone calls and, you know, eat & stuff. I didn't have time to write. But now I do...so it's Blog Over 8:04 pm. Oh and a glass of water.
One of The Girl's favorite movie lines is "I carried a watermelon", from Dirty Dancing. Well today I thought of her (I sure do miss her) as I froze a banana. Ok, I froze four of them. Did you know you can freeze bananas? If so, why didn't you tell me?
I had four turning brown. I love me a good nanner & peanut butter smoothie but am not a big fan of just sitting down and feasting on a banana. Turns out you can peel them and freeze them and then they're even better for smoothie making!
Yeah, clearly I'm excited by virtually ANY good news right now.
Another thing I did today...I ate chicken noodle soup with crackers and did not once fear that I would puke it up. This is a first in several days. I've lost four pounds in the three days since XBF left. Not entirely unappreciated, but I'm a bit tired of feeling like hurling all the time thank you very much.
For dinner I had PB & J, grapes and whole grain tostitos. Ok...whole grain tortilla chips. Who can afford brand names anymore? Not I!
But I was nearly giddy with the freedom of just slapping some generic peanut butter and generic jelly between two slices of generic bread and calling it dinner. These are the little pleasures of a single woman while her son is spending the week at dad's I guess.
Today I have to keep reminding myself...it doesn't all have to be done right now. I keep telling myself that, over and over and over again. I hadn't planned on a free evening tonight. XBF was going to start moving his stuff, but he had to postpone. No biggie really. His stuff being here is SO far down on the list of things to care about right now. But it left me with a free evening which, surprisingly enough, did NOT send me into a sobbing, hyperventilating panic attack of near medical-emergency proportions as would have been the case if I were faced with an unexpectedly free evening this soon after The Ex left six years ago.
Instead, it sent me into a mental list of all of the things that I could accomplish in the time between work and bed, and left me trying frantically to decide which ones I should do. Anything from emptying the dishwasher to mowing the lawn to trimming the hedges to programming the automatic watering dealio so the hanging baskets don't die, to just watering the damned things by hand to visiting the car dealer to car shopping online to getting a jump on tomorrow's work at the office to cleaning the bathroom to clipping coupons to washing the sheets to balancing the checkbook to fixing the roomba to....well...you get the picture. I have a lot on my plate right now.
But...say it with me kids.....it doesn't all have to be done right now.
I emptied the dishwasher, I balanced the checkbook, I watered the damned plants. I texted The Ex and asked if he could find time between now and the weekend to bring The Boy here and teach him how to run The Lawnmower (as it is still the one he used when he lived here). He agreed. I will soon fix the roomba.
Oh...and I froze a banana!
And that will just have to do.
That it all doesn't have to be done right now is something that I'm working on with Lucene. The trick for me when i have a mile long to-do list with no real way (or mental ability, at least at that panic-y moment) to prioritize the to do list is to pick something at random and just do it. And REALLY do it. So like pay attention to each and every dish you take out of the dishwasher. Write as neatly as possible while balancing the checkbook. Preventing yourself from swearing at the plants (something I did today too!). It helps. Slowing down when you feel like you need to speed up is counter-intuitive, but it does something good for the brain, I think.
ReplyDeleteI am going to shout out YES! You are doing really great and I have no doubt at all about how well you are going to do each and every day. The hardest day will be the move. Take control of that a little. Pack some shit of his and put it in the garage. It will still hurt but YOU will be calling the shots , not him. Hugs Terrie.
ReplyDeleteVicki
Damn, wait. You already have enough to do.
What 'they' said; I couldn't have said it better!!
ReplyDeleteFor some reason I'm now only able to post ANONYMOUSLY....on my own blog? Wierd.
ReplyDeleteAnyway there's no need for me to pack up any of his stuff. He'll get to it. He'll need some time to arrange for a permanent place for himself and The Girl and I can give him that. As long as this can be done without anger, hate or drama, then I'll feel like I DID do it my way, calling my own shots. Terrie