You guys, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you stop in and check for new postings. Some times my brain gets full of stuff I'm dealing with that I can't write about and it's hard to shift back into blog mode. At times I think I shouldn't bother writing because I'll never have as many readers as the big successful blogs, and probably never enough even to attact real advertisors, but I do enjoy writing and when I log in after not writing for a few days and see that people have been here, looking for new content....I just get all verklempt.
I finally made it into the Saturday Urban Iron class! I walked in like I knew what I was doing, grabbed my equipment, squoze in between a tall, thin, young woman and a weight rack and did my very best to keep up. Problem is that my very best is just not good enough. To be clear, it's not good enough FOR ME. It's a really hard class so I doubt anyone else was looking beyond their own pain and sweat to see how miserable I was doing, but I saw it. And it made me feel like a failure. I am just flat-out physically incapable of doing crunches or leg lifts. I've had my stomach cut open twice, I have a bad back and I'm using these sad, broken mechanisms to try to lift more than the average weight torso and legs. And even if I had the strength in my arms to do push ups I probably shouldn't because of my tendonitis. Feeling like a failure after a workout is no way to ensure that I'll feel like going back again.
So I give up...for now. I'll try again when I lose another 20 lbs. By then hopefully I'll have built up some muscle and be able to lift my shrinking frame with less pain. And if not...not. If I try to do something I hate I'm going to get discouraged and quit. I feel like I have something very precious right now in that I actually WANT to work out. I don't want to jeopardize that.
So yesterday I did the short circuit at the gym, today I shall do the long circuit. I like circuit training. It makes me feel tired and sore and accomplished. So mneh. I think I'm going to work up a spreadsheet into which I can enter the name of each machine, the seat position number, the weight setting and reps I'm doing. I'll access it on my tablet during my workout, reducing the time I spend trying to figure out where I'm supposed to set the seat and finding the apropriate weight, and I will also be able to increase my weights incrementally over a period of time.
Yes my geekhood permeates all areas of my life.
Today's lunch, yet another awesome salad, but this time made at home rather than at the salad bar across the street. I'm going to start doing this at least a couple of days a week. The salad bar is WAY too expensive and nearly impossible to log. This salad, including dressing, is only 400 calories.