My Poor Widdle Feewings

Saturday I tried, once again, to get to the Urban Iron class at my gym.  And, once again, I didn't make it.  This time I was there far before the class started, while the Yoga class was still going on.  I waited outside the door for the yoga people to get done, all the time thinking I had done well because there were only about 10 people in line in front of me.

When the yoga class was over all hell broke loose.

While the yoga people were still returning their mats to the pile in the back of the room, the Urban Iron people rushed the room to lay claim to their spots and equipment.  I, of course, wandered in with all the purpose and confidence of the feather at the end of Forrest Gump.  At this point I realized there are TWO doors to this room, and therefore two crowds of people wating to get in, and the door I used was farthest from the equipment. 

I grabbed a bench, but as I looked around I saw that some of the others had mats instead of benches.  As a beginner, I decided I might be better off with a mat, so I returned my bench and grabbed a mat.  When I turned around, nearly every space in the room was already full.  This was no more than 60 seconds after the first yoga student stood up to leave.

But I still had hope, so I went up to the leader and asked what equipment I needed.  She said "You need a......well all the barbells are taken".

She said "Saturdays are really crazy.  There's another one at 3 tomorrow".  I asked if Monday & Wednesday are this crazy and she said no.

I'm not proud of what I did next.....

I went into the bathroom and cried.

Not very "urban-iron-ish" of me, huh?

It was really REALLY hard for me to work up the courage to stand alone among strangers, most of whom were in pairs, to wait for the doors to open.  Every instinct I have told me to run while everyone else was buzzing around clueless, fat old me.  But I stayed..  And all of that was wasted.

Plus, I'm obviously a big crybaby.

Once my little pity party was over (it was blessedly short) I did the weight circuit and a half hour on the elliptical, then I came home and cleaned the bathroom, dusted the living room, went to two grocery stores and made dinner.  I burned over 3000 calories Saturday, which is not too shabby if I do say so myself.

As I was on the elliptical it occurred to my why I like it so much.  I don't half-ass it.  I don't do the fat chick version of it.  I can train on the elliptical with the best of 'em, so not only am I not embarrassed when I'm on it, I'm actually sort of PROUD of myself.  I feel normal and competent.  I'm still very much a fat chick.  I regularly see people my size get on the ET, use it for 5 minutes and get off.  I can do the full 30 minute pre-programmed "weight loss" routine, and throw in another 15 minutes just for good measure.  I could do an hour if I had decent shoes.

I'm also feeling pretty confident as far as circuit training goes.  Yes, the weight level I use is pathetic, but someone would have to pay awful close attention to know that. 

So, as I sweated through my familiar old 90 minute workout, I decied to blow off the Urban Iron class and just stick to what I know and am comfortable with.

Yeah....that lasted about an hour.  I know...I need to step outside my comfort zone.

So I'm heading there after work, hoping third try's a charm.  I'll have 30 minutes to get out of here, drive to the gym (only about a 5 minute trip), change and get my equipment.  I hope I can do it.

And if I can't I'm going to try really hard not to have a meltdown.

Here's the thing.....I lost five pounds in the past 7 days.  FIVE POUNDS.  Part of me is all "yaaaayyy", and part of me is all "Woah...dial it down missy".  I didn't deserve to gain 0.2 lbs last week, it was water, so these 5 lbs really were probably lost over the course of 2 weeks, but still, I think I'm going too fast.

Saturday night I had a complete meltdown because The Man hurt my poor widdle feewings.  I don't even think it was intentional, he's just a man and therefore sometimes completely clueless.  It wasn't a first and it won't be the last and it certainly didn't merit me wasting an evening, much less a tear, obsessing over it.

Then this morning, feeling all good about my 5 lb loss, working away with no real problems...I had a such a mood swing that I came really, really close to bursting into tears. 

Well during my normal Monday morning weight progress analysis (yes, I'm a geek) I relized that over the last 48 hours I burned 5600 clories and only consumed 3700.  Gee...think I may have a tinch of a blood sugar issue?

So I ate some pineapple for my morning snack and swapped out my can of tomato soup for a 6" subway tuna sandwich.  Hopefully I'll pep up soon.  If not I pity the woman who takes the last dumbell.